Turtle Warrior

I am now officially a TURTLE WARRIOR.  I will keep fighting until I get better from GBS.  My fingers tingle and my palms are always sweaty.  I crawl along the street so slowly that sometimes I have the urge to throw myself against traffic and end it all.  

BB is now gone 2 weeks.  I can't wait to see him again and we then can try to go places together.  Let's hope we'll hear something from GFS that I will be able to return to intensive physio soon.  I want to practice walking and stairs on my own before going back to training.

In Sickness and In Health

 

It's good to be on the road to recovery after a long illness.  I am waiting to get better at walking and eventually to navigate the stairs at some point.  This illness has dampened my spirit making me wish to retire from my favorite job..  I MISS THE LIBRARY AND MY BOOKS!

Fantasy

 It has been a while since I lasted updated this blog.  I do have a fantasy.  I wish I would be able to sell our Jackson Heights apartment and then start to move on to the next chapter of my life.  I would love to start thinking about making the move (for the thousand time it seems).  I am ready to cut the cord and have a new life.

When will COVID be over?  When can I travel again without restrictions?  If all life will end soon, please let it end peacefully.  I need GUIDANCE!

So many stores have shuttered.  I am grateful that I still have friends here.  Without them I would be constantly worrying about my future.  I truly need them for my sanity!

I will start writing this blog again now that I am feeling insecure and have doubts about my future.  This blog gives me hope.  I can't explain it.  

Please let my fantasy come true.  I need to sell sell sell.  Then make the move smoothly.  Next we need to find a new home/apartment that is affordable and within our budget.  Then we can take a DEEP BREATH and maybe we will be able to travel again...

What Lies Ahead

 

Can someone please tell me what lies ahead in the next month or two?  Will the Delta variant derail my plans?  Will I be able to sell the apartments and move to Vancouver to start a new life?  Will BB cooperate and be willing to work together with me on the move?  I have a million questions but no answers for any of them...

What is in my future?  

I know I am happy about visiting New York again but how long will this period of enchantment last?  Will I ever be happy again?

Living one day at a time is hard.  Sometimes I think if my life is cut short like Wai's, would I be upset?  I know I have no regrets about this life.  I have had my share of ups and downs but I am glad I found the greatest joy in my work.

Sad Day

 

This is such a sad day.  To lose Wai so soon.  We've been friends for so long and I always thought I can count on us being there for each other.  I should be grateful to her since her friendship has been a sense of homecoming for me when I am back in Vancouver.  I don't feel the burden of having a faith (as in religion) when I am with her.  

I never thought she would leave so soon. It's heartbreaking to see her mother sob at the funeral.  It must be so hard to lose your eldest daughter...

I truly blame the pandemic for not being able to spend more time with her during her lifetime.  You are truly free now, Wai.  You no longer have to deal with your diabetes and your spirit will soar to new heights.  

Meanwhile, I feel my future is so fluid.  I don't know and can't see what's in front of me anymore.  I can only handle life one day at a time.  Sometimes I worry about the days that I still have left on this earth.  Maybe next time this year I will be gone and vanish into the abyss.  

New Yorkers: Its People in its Own Time

 

I really enjoyed this book.  I must be homesick and am pining my NYC.  There was an episode in "Sex and the City" where Carrie declared her love for the City and not for Mr. Big.  There are so many things I simply couldn't stand in NYC but I also loved it with all my musto.  It's somewhat like my relationship with Alex.  I love him and yet I couldn't stand his arrogance..

The book reminds me of "This American Life".  The podcast which I used to love with the charismatic narrator Ira Glass.  How I remember we used to listen to NPR together in Alex's car on Saturday mornings!  His favorite show was "Car Talk" which made up of two guys joking about fixing up old cars.  He was so right that I was bound to marry an American..  He knew way back then that we weren't meant for each other.  

I wish I am young again and can just pack up and go and start a new job somewhere else.  Now I am grounded and the only place to go is simply to crawl back to my little room with my books.  My books are my sanity!  

The book is amazing and the :interviews" were sensational!   

First Person Singular

A true disappointment from Murakami.  Two of the stories in this anthology were first published in the New Yorker  The rest of the stories were nothing special.  I think it's time for Murakami to devote full time to becoming a DJ and retire from writing. 

It's time to move on to better books to spend my time! 

Tokyo Day By Day

 This is a great find!  Love to live in Tokyo for six months to a year  I can't see myself living in a small town.  I am such a city person.

Finally getting my first jab on Tuesday.  What will life be like past pandemic?  I am anxious about the future but willing to take a plunge into the unknown.  

I wish I am back to the age that I can live in another city and work in another job.  I am truly ready for a new start.  Yet I am still missing NYC and my old job.  I am glad our paths have passed and I am better for it.

Klara and the Sun - The Idea of an ARTIFICIAL FRIEND

Why is there such an intense interest in AI all of the sudden?  I just finished cataloging a number of books on AI and then I read this.  I also started watching the TVB series on AI.  I used to think AI as being the perfect robot maid but now that's no longer the only reason he/she exists.  He/She is now a life companion and in these pandemic times, we need him/her more than ever!

Klara, also know as an AF, reminds me of a film I saw years ago while working at PBC.  Joaquin Phoenix was surprisingly good in "HER" who fell in love with her OS (Operating System).  Will an artificial friend replace a human friend in the future?  I think the whole idea is fascinating and I would love to try one!  Sign me up now...

The story reminds me of some of Ishiguro's earlier novels.  I think it's fabulous for these lonely times since none of us are comfortable going out dreading the virus.  Having an artificial friend who is caring and loving will certainly fill the void.  Especially for me 😔😔😔

 

MOMA Film Festival: Nomadland

 

I'm so glad MOMA has decided to put this film back up on their site.  I finally got to see it and it was great!  It has a lot of heart.  I didn't realize it was fairly sad in tone.  It has great music and wonderful scenery.  I enjoyed this much more than "Minari"  I am not surprised now why it got so many nominations..  I just wish some of my friends would be able to catch it before the Oscars..  Chloe Zhao and Frances McDormand are both worthy of their awards.